More amusing items about football
life of a Youth Team Football Manager
You spend the
last hour of work planning the evening's training session.
You lose sleep
worrying whether the line-up for the next game is fair to every
player and what the parents might think.
When your wife
goes to the supermarket she can't put the shopping in the boot of
the car because its full of footballs, training cones, kit bags
You plan your
summer holidays around soccer tournaments.
You wear track-suit
bottoms all the time.
Your phone never
stops ringing and its always regarding football.
When you meet
someone, you always have in the back of your mind whether or not
they can offer any sponsorship to your team.
looking at weekend weather forecasts.
In the middle
of January you can't wait for the season to end.
You get withdrawal
symptoms when the season's over.
When you meet
your son's new friend, the first thing you ask is their date of
You spend the
summer re-discovering your garden.
When you buy
a new car you think in terms of how many players can fit in and
how much equipment the boot will hold.
When you go
shopping you always come back with something that will be 'useful'
for the team.
Over half of
your annual car mileage is football related.
When you get
home after a match, your wife, kids and dog avoid you until they
find out the score….. then avoid you for the rest of the day.
the phrase 'talking to a brick wall' is often used.
Apologies to Wycombe Wanderers
A source inside
Camelot, the lottery people, has revealed that a man from High Wycombe
was a recent winner in the nation's favourite weekly gamble. The
lucky chap was delighted to announce that he had spent his winnings
on a new player for his beloved Wycombe Wanderers. "If my three
numbers come up and win me a tenner again," he added, "I'll
gladly buy them another!"
A full back
with a reputation for being a really hard man on the pitch was sent
off during a match and returned to the changing room with a terrible
leg. It was covered in cuts and bruises and had a massive gash from
the top of the thigh to the knee.
He had no idea whose it was.
A man who threw
a bottle of Domestos at a policeman appeared in court charged with
'a bleach of the police'.
A friend of
mine rang me to say that he was in hospital with food poisoning.
He had made himself a cheese and onion sandwich but instead of an
onion he had accidentally used a daffodil bulb. He said that he
was feeling a little better and expected to be out in the spring.
Missing - Winner
of the Hithercroft Hide-and-Seek Contest 1996. If you know of his
whereabouts please notify the committee who are still waiting to
give him his prize.